What Does Research Say?

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Research suggests that on average it takes couples 6 years before seeking help for their relationship or marital issues. These findings suggest that in general couples are struggling in their relationship and facing unhappiness far too long before being proactive and seeking support. Good communication is important in every relationship. One of the primary reasons that relationships can start to struggle is because, over time, couples can develop unhealthy communication styles that can make it difficult to connect, feel intimate, and speak freely without fear of anger, sadness, or resentment.

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It is not uncommon for couples to struggle with communication issues and even couples with a great relationship may find that at times they are having difficulties and finding it challenging to express their thoughts, opinions or concerns to their partner. Communication is not just about talking either. Body language, such as eye rolls, no eye contact, and facing the other way when the partner is speaking to you is also a part of communication. Effective communication is important in a relationship since it also plays a role in enhancing intimacy, developing trust, and creating mutually satisfying goals.

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Since open communication is also a crucial part of building a healthy relationship, couples that are struggling with the following communication issues often benefit from seeking out help from a professional:

• Feeling as though you are walking on eggshells around your partner

• Getting defensive or angry at your partner easily

• Fighting with your partner in your mind, but not always discussing it together

• Criticizing your partner

• Interrupting or blaming your partner

• Making unfair comparisons

• Using a negative tone

• Expressing emotional responses not necessarily intended.

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What Techniques are Used in Couples Therapy?

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1. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): This therapy aims to foster a deeper understanding and reshaping of emotional responses within the relationship, enabling partners to recognize and express their underlying emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities. This approach enhances emotional connection and security. Source: Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love.

2. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) assists couples in identifying and challenging negative thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that contribute to relationship distress. It focuses on cultivating healthier cognitive patterns while improving problem-solving and communication skills. Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9489262/

3. Imago Relationship Therapy explores the influence of childhood experiences and past relationships on the dynamics within the current relationship. Its objective is to help partners gain insight into unresolved issues and develop empathy and understanding for each other. Source: Getting the love you want: A guide for couples. Macmillan.

4. Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Gottman Method Couples Therapy emphasizes enhancing friendship, managing conflicts, and creating shared meaning in the relationship. It utilizes assessments and interventions based on extensive research into relationship dynamics. Source: 10 principles for doing effective couples therapy.

5. Narrative Therapy: Narrative Therapy explores the stories and narratives that couples construct about their relationship. It helps them reframe problems and develop new narratives that promote understanding, growth, and positive change. Source: Narrative means to therapeutic ends

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How Couples Counselling Can Help?

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Couples therapy can be helpful at any stage in your relationship. For example, you may be experiencing difficulties in your relationship or simply looking to improve your relationship further. There are always ways to strengthen a relationship, and the sooner you learn to communicate more effectively, build more trust, and receive healthy guidance, the more your relationship can grow. We encourage you to be proactive. Invest in your relationship before it goes serious issues arise by consciously making an effort to build a sound relationship.

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• You find yourself feeling distant from your partner

• You find yourself arguing with your partner both out loud and in your mind

• You have lost some of the hope you had for the future

• You seem to be unable to communicate, and no longer find yourself happy

• You are recovering from an Affair

• You want to enhance your relationship

• Want to build more trust

• There are jealousy and/or control issues

• You want to improve problem solving skills

• Experiencing intimacy Issues (e.g., Emotional & Physical)

• Exploring decision to marry each other (premarital therapy)

• Marriage preparation (have honest conversations about your expectations in your upcoming partnership)

• Want to learn to manage conflict

• Want to improve friendship in your relationship

• Creating Mutual Goals (e.g., finances, parenting, work)

• Managing difficult relationships with each other’s families

• Coping with major Life Changes (e.g., work issues, having kids, moving etc.)

• Strategies to Effectively Support each other

• Decide whether you want to stay together 

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The list of services provided is not exhaustive, feel free to contact us to inquire further about your concerns. We welcome the opportunity to meet both of you and talk more about what will occur during the therapeutic process.